“Don’t die with the Music still in You”

Think of the last time you felt powerful and free and happy and full of spirit. You were so blissful inside that your external environment didn’t matter. Did you have that feeling of freedom doing a mundane task or was it when there was something you always wanted to do but never ventured? You held yourself back in myriad ways, but you couldn’t ignore the slight nudge of your soul to go beyond your limitations.

There was a moment when you thought you couldn’t but you tried it anyway and then something you never thought was possible in your entire life just happened, just because you tried. You let go of your fears and inhibitions and here you are….on the other side of the tunnel. How blissful is that feeling! You felt like the butterfly struggling out of the cocoon and there you were set free from everything that held you back.

What if our lives could be more of these moments every day? Wouldn’t it be absolutely wonderful to live such a fascinating life. What is preventing us?

My journey in the last few years have been of tearing down these walls that I had built for myself, changing my relationships from co-dependent ones to more respectful ones, trusting myself to do things I have never done before, falling back in love with myself and re-discovering aspects of myself I never knew existed. But, in a way I wouldn’t have done these until I let go of beliefs about myself that no longer served me, I stopped making everyone else happy at the expense of my happiness, I stopped being a victim, started taking responsibility for my happiness and life and slowly but surely built a foundation of new beliefs that were not from ego or fear or guilt or blame, but from expansion, freedom and love. It was not an overnight change…I still catch myself in my limited beliefs but when I become aware I just let go of it..

Ok, enough about me..What are some of the steps anyone can take if you are someone like I used to be – playing small and thinking you are insignificant?

1. Become self-aware: I cannot stress enough the importance of self-awareness. We run our lives mostly on unconscious beliefs and attitudes which we have acquired from our upbringing and these programs are registered in our sub-conscious mind and basically run our lives. If you have to let go of your limitations, you have to become aware that you even think them. Meditation is a great technique for raising your self-awareness. Begin your meditation practice with as little as 5 minutes and over time you will be able to build it up to 30 minutes or even an hour.

What are you becoming aware of?

a. The labels that you identify yourself with (ex. lazy, irresponsible, dumb) : These are the labels that we have accepted of ourselves when well meaning friends, family, spouse etc have used it on us. These labels are not you. They don’t serve any purpose. Once you are aware you can let it go consciously. There are several ways to reprogram your mind-affirmations, vision board etc. You may have to resort to putting post-its around the house that you want to be known as. Over time you will accept yourself as the powerful creator you are.

b. Are you playing victim?: How many times have we asked ourselves “Why me?” , “why does my life suck while X seems to have everything he wants?”, “Why am I the only one struggling with this?” These are the thoughts that make you feel like you are a victim of circumstances, environment, people etc and you feel utterly powerless. When you are making yourself a victim, you feel stuck and feel like don’t have the power to change your life for the better. You give your power away to the people or circumstances who have made you feel like a victim. But, here is the truth. Life reflects back to you what you think. If you think you are not assertive, there will be people in your life bossing you around and reflecting the powerlessness you feel inside. Take responsibility for your thoughts. You are the thinker and you can easily change those powerless thoughts. You just need a paradigm shift. Look at the situation from a place of power- may be it was something you needed to learn from it. Just distill the wisdom of the situation without investing in a lot of emotional charge to it. What I mean is look at it as if someone outside of you views the situation objectively. If you see something happening around you that you don’t like, ask yourself “What dominant thoughts within me are causing this to happen?”. Take note of it and make a mental note to change it up whenever you see those old powerless thoughts creeping up in your awareness.

c. Clean up your internal dialog: What you say to yourself when you are feeling down matters. Stop being critical of yourself . You can set yourself free by changing how you talk to yourself , or how you talk to others about your gifts or capabilities. Quieten your mind and go deep inside and affirm your greatness. Affirm the amazing creative being you are and you will see that with time your internal dialog will change. It will start encouraging you to face your fears, to be open and expand yourself. The power is with in you. Just be kind to yourself.

2.Accept and love yourself. Self acceptance and self love is highly cliched. But, think about this if you don’t accept yourself, how are others going to accept you? Accept yourself the way you are. There may be things that you may want to change about yourself but still accept where you are right now. Accept the journey. Have you seen how little children in the ages 2 to 4 are so happy? They may act silly,but they are never self critical. They just laugh at their mistakes and just go about their day happy, never holding on to the judgement of others or themselves.

Once you accept yourself, you can give yourself all the love and respect that you crave from others. Play some music and dance. Give yourself a warm,relaxing bath. Watch comedy and laugh your heart out. Have a good time. Feel worthy to have a great time. Remember, you cannot love anyone else unless you love yourself. You can give only what you have.

3. Find you passion and live it: Once you have accepted yourself, in order to express your highest potential you have to seek out experiences that inspire you. Find out what you truly love doing and just try incorporating it into your life. When something is your passion, you will treat all roadblocks as simply challenges that you need to work on to move ahead.

It won’t stall you or discourage you. Find a mentor in the field of your choice and constantly re-invent yourself by stretching yourself and expanding your horizons. Do it because you “want” to do it and you “choose” to do it and not because it “should” be done. Notice the difference in commitment when things “should” be done vs you “want” to do it. This step is what I am still working on. I will come back and share my experiences and add anything else that is relevant.

There you go- a guide based on my experiences to owning and expressing the music within you. I leave you a quote from Marianne Williamson, the author of “A Return to love”

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us